Your head hurts and your ears are ringing from the silence that now follows your panic attack.
My Mental Breakdown I struggled with severe anxiety four years ago. The onset was abrupt. Until I was twenty-five, I was the healthiest person I knew.
That changed suddenly in I woke up one morning with an itchy spot on my chest; I looked down and saw two small fang marks. At the ER, they gave me a steroid shot in the butt and antibiotics to prevent infection such wonderful memories. I could be seen visibly shaking upright in my bed. Spider bites are rare, right?
I thought so too until another spider bit me a few days after the first one did! It was a strange and unexpected slippery slope of worrying, not getting enough sleep, being scared to sleep, and freaking out because I was freaking out.
Meanwhile, I hoped for it all to go back to the way it was.
I had never hoped for something so much in my life. You hope to conquer anxiety or depression. You hope to get into your favorite college.
You hope to find love one day. When I was in the worst part of the struggle, I hoped so much for things to just go back to normal. The worse it got, the more I hoped.
I hoped that my next breath would be drawn out and deep and relaxing, but it never was. Hoping is like a weaker form of expecting something. I threw the gauntlet at the problem. My hope kept me fighting so hard.
But fighting is not what I needed to do. In life, like in war, we must know when to attack, and equally important, when to retreat.
Not all enemies can be defeated in a straightforward conventional way. I gave up hope in winning this fight.
I was surprised when, over time, the enemy walked away! I stopped caring about my breathing frequency and depth. Give me a few more! Much later that day, Tolstoy remained in the corner, his mind fixated on the white bear he needed to stop thinking about. He was finally able to stop thinking about the white bear when his brother gave him permission to think about it.
This experiment has been replicated, and the result is always the same: More effort does not always bring greater results.
Smarter strategies always bring greater results. This is most helpful with areas like anxiety, worry, fear, and depression. When you accept them and stop hoping they go away, they lose a considerable amount of their power over you. For me, losing hope was freedom.
Maybe it will be for you too.May 28, · Home → Forums → Relationships → lost hope on finding love New Reply This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Robert 3 years, 5 months ago.
Seeking the guidance of a compassionate therapist can help you get back on track, regain hope of finding love in the future, and empower you to bring your best self to future relationships. What you write about losing hope is ironic, because hope is a big part of falling in love.
On the flip side, many relationships have little love. There are many lonely people who get into relationships that then realize that they are just as lonely.
Hope’s Dark Side. Hope has a dark side in the way that it impacts the mind. It’s an intense yearning for something to happen: You hope to conquer anxiety or depression.
You hope to get into your favorite college. You hope to find love one day. You hope to overcome . Finding love isn’t something we can apply ourselves to like work, getting fit or learning a musical instrument – whereby the more effort we put in the greater the rewards.
I've seen countless therapists and am currently in psychotherapy twice a week in addition to being medicated. What makes it worse is that I have a great family, parents who I know love me and.